Portraits of Yesterdays
by skullmunkey
Summary: Summer wakes up in an unfamiliar place and makes an alarming discovery. Definitely angsty.
1. Awakening

_Lost in a portrait, in a picture of me_

_This can't be everthing I see  
  
Then my canvas is incomplete  
  
Your color's everything to me  
  
And my canvas will set me free_  
  
--- _Lost In A Portrait_ by **Trapt**

* * *

_Beep beep.  
_  
Summer didn't know how long she'd been staring at the ceiling. It seemed like a long time, but she couldn't really be sure. She didn't even remember waking up. It just seemed like she'd been awake for a while.  
  
_Beep beep.  
_  
The ceiling was an ugly off white color. It was marred here and there with various pits and bumps. The maid must have taken the year off, because there were dust bunnies and cobwebs everywhere. The walls, what she could see of them, were a sterile white color...the kind of white that made her want to grab a paintbrush and paint them any other color.  
  
_Beep beep._  
  
It suddenly occurred to Summer that she couldn't turn her head. It didn't really concern her; it was just something that she realized. She strained for a couple of minutes but only succeeded in turning her head about a quarter of an inch.  
  
_Beep beep._  
  
The beeping sound was really starting to get on her nerves. She'd heard it long enough to know that it was coming from over her left shoulder, but not long enough to figure out what was making it.  
  
_Beep beep.  
_  
The sound was starting to grate on her. Each beep seemed to bore straight into the base of her skull, twisting like a drill in her brain. She tried to take her mind off of the sounds by focusing on one of the dust bunnies on the ceiling. It was threatening to drop at any moment.  
  
_Beep beep  
_  
There was no way she could concentrate. The sound was just too annoying. Plus, she was starting to become aware of a dull ache in her right arm, and her neck was starting to burn. She tried to look down at it, but found that she still couldn't move her head. It occurred to her that she could just lift her arm up, but she couldn't seem to move her arms either.  
  
_Beep beep._  
  
It was then that she realized that she was only seeing through one eye. She closed her left eye and tried to open her right one. Nothing but blackness. She tried again. Nothing.  
  
_Beep beep  
_  
Summer was starting to get worried now. Panicked thoughts began to swim through the muddled haze that filled her mind. She didn't know why she couldn't move her arms or head, but she knew that something was very wrong.  
  
_Beep beep_  
  
There was something very familiar about the tormenting sound now. She had heard it somewhere before, but she just couldn't place it. Try as she might, her muddled mind just couldn't do it.  
  
_Beep beep_  
  
Summer was extremely thirsty. Her mouth was dry, and her throat felt like it was stuffed with cotton. She tried to speak, to yell for someone to help her, but nothing came out. Her voice just wouldn't work. She tried again to move her arms and thought that she felt them move slightly. Encouraged, she tried to lift her head. Sweat broke out on her forehead as she strained. Finally, with Herculean effort, she was able to lift her head a few inches. Exhausted, she let it drop back into place, managing to turn slightly to her left.  
  
_Beep beep beep_.  
  
The sound seemed to pick up tempo when she saw the plastic bag hanging from a rack by her bed. She had definitely seen that before. Her mind hadn't cleared sufficiently for her to process it exactly, but she knew that it wasn't good.  
  
_Beep beep beep beep.  
_  
The tempo was definitely increasing. There was a small hose coming out of the bottom of the plastic bag. Her eyes traveled along its length, tracing its path as it came to rest at her wrist. Its journey ended at her wrist, where the plastic disappeared under a swath of white cotton gauze taped to her arm.  
  
_Beep beep beep beep beep beep.  
_  
Summer was in full panic mode now. Her mind had suddenly become crystal clear. The hospital. She was in the hospital....and she couldn't move her arms; she could barely move her head.  
  
Summer gritted her teeth and lifted her head again. It didn't take quite as much effort as the last time since adrenaline was pumping through her veins. It was still draining. After several grueling minutes, Summer succeeded in turning her head over to the right.  
  
_Beep beep beep beep beep beep._  
  
Marissa was sitting in a chair against the wall. There were tears in her eyes, and she seemed to be talking to someone beside her. Summer couldn't tell who it was, since she couldn't see out of her right eye. With a grunt, she forced her head to turn more.  
  
_Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep.  
_  
The annoying beeps had increased exponentially. They were coming so fast now that they had blurred into a single sound. They had increased when she saw Ryan beside Marissa. Ryan Atwood...and he had obviously been crying. Chino didn't cry. That scared her.  
  
Summer tried to get their attention, but she still couldn't seem to speak. Try as she might, nothing would come out. "You'd think that they would hear that annoying beeping and look over here," Summer thought. No such luck.  
  
Then she noticed Seth's mom and dad. They were standing beside Ryan. Well, Mr. Cohen was standing, but he seemed to be holding Mrs. Cohen up. Her body was shaking. It looked to Summer like she was crying.  
  
Someone was missing. 


	2. Flashback

Well, I'm glad everyone liked the first chapter. I decided to go ahead and post the next chapter since I've got so many great responses from the first one. The song lyrics I used are from Gorecki by Lamb. I really should get some sort of royalties from this song, cause I pimp it out whenever I get the chance. Mainly because I think it has excellent lyrics.  
  
Anyhoo, here's the flashback. Here's where we see what happened.  
  
=======================================================  
  
_If I should die this very moment  
I wouldn't fear  
For I've never known completeness  
Like being here  
Wrapped in the warmth of you  
Loving every breath of you  
Still my heart this moment  
Or it might burst  
Could we stay right here  
Until the end of time until the earth stops turning  
Wanna love you until the seas run dry  
I've found the one I've waited for_

* * *

Summer heard a light knocking at her door. She tore her attention away from The Valley long enough to consider whether or not to respond. Finally, in her most annoyed voice she yelled "Go away! I'm watching TV! Naked!"  
  
The door flew open, and Seth bounded inside. He saw her lying on the bed and sighed. "Darn. I knew you were lying." He crossed the room and flopped down beside her. "One of these days you're really going to be naked, and I'm not going to come in."  
  
Summer laughed. "Wow! That'll show me." She turned her attention back to the television for a moment, and then turned to look at Seth. "I was watching The Valley, but I could be persuaded to do something about these pesky clothes if the offer was right," she said with a sly grin.  
  
Seth returned her wicked grin with one of his own. "I plan to take you up on that offer," he said. "But not at the moment." He stood and offered Summer his hand. "Come on. Get up. I want to show you something."  
  
"What are you doing, Cohen? You get me all ready to go then shoot me down?"  
  
Seth laughed. "I didn't shoot you down; I put you in a holding pattern." He grabbed the remote and clicked the TV off. "Now get up off your butt and come with me."  
  
Summer sighed. "Don't talk about my butt if we're not going to fool around." She grumbled under her breath as she walked across the room. "If we're going out, them I'm going to have to change. She stopped in front of her closet and threw open the doors. "Now, where are we going, so I can coordinate?"  
  
Seth walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He leaned in and placed a light kiss on her neck, then rested his head on her shoulder. "It's a surprise, so I'm not going to tell you." He stepped back and spun Summer around. He took in her pastel pink sweat suit and nodded approvingly. "I think you look perfect. In fact, you may be a little overdressed. You could lose the shirt and still be fine."  
  
Summer's eyebrows rose, and she stepped back. "I'm not going out in public naked, Cohen."  
  
"Oooh. You are naked under there? Let me see." Seth's hands darted in, his fingers nimbly trying to grab her zipper.  
  
Summer slapped his hand away. With mock anger she glared at him. "I thought you had something to show me. Or, are there some things you want me to show you?"  
  
Seth grinned. "All in due time my dear." He looked over her shoulder, eyes searching the closet. "Right now, I want you to get a pair of shoes so we can go." He stepped back and let her turn around before adding, "and maybe a little flash or two for the road."  
  
Summer shook her head and sighed. "Always thinking with little Seth, eh Cohen?" She bent over to retrieve a pair of black sandals and squealed when Seth firmly grabbed her butt, a cheek pressed into each palm. "Keep that up, mister, and we won't be leaving this room for a while."  
  
An hour later, Seth and Summer pulled up to the docks. Seth threw open his door and bounded out. "Aw, man. The sun is almost down. I wanted to get here sooner!"  
  
"Stop slamming my door dammit," Summer grumbled as she shut her own door. She walked over to Seth and put an arm around his waist. "We would have been here sooner if you could have kept your hands to yourself."  
  
Seth put his arm around her shoulders and bent to kiss her on the top of the head. "I completely blame you. If you weren't so completely grab- able, then my hands would have totally been under control. You can't blame them for wanting to wander." With a small smile he placed a finger under her chin, lifting it slightly so he could kiss her lips. "It was totally worth it though."  
  
Summer giggled. "You're damn right it was. And don't forget, we're not finished Buster. I definitely want a rematch later tonight."  
  
"And you shall definitely have it. We can wrestle in mud or Jell-O, your choice," Seth enthused. "I'm up for either one. Right after we see my boat."  
  
"You own a boat?"  
  
"Yes. Yes I do own a boat. Why did you think we were at the docks?"  
  
Summer shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't think about it really." They started to walk as she looked around. "Which one is yours?"  
  
Seth pointed to a boat about 10 feet from them. "That one, right there. That's the Summer Breeze."  
  
"Summer Breeze? Interesting name."  
  
Seth smiled. "It is interesting, isn't it? I wonder where I could ever have come up with that."  
  
"I would say that you named it after me, but that would kind of be self involved wouldn't it?"  
  
Seth gave her a quick peck on the lips. "Under normal circumstances, yes. This time you are right. The boat is named after you."  
  
Summer stopped short. "Really? You named a boat after me." She looked the boat over for a minute as Seth began to pull the tarp off of it. "How long have you had it?"  
  
Seth shrugged. "I'm not really sure. Quite a while. A few years. Maybe eight." He was starting to look a little uncomfortable. "This is an artifact of the past. A symbol of the time when I liked you, but had never even spoken to you."  
  
Summer stepped forward and folded Seth into her arms. "That's the sweetest thing," she crooned softly into his ear. Her lips made light contact as she continued. "You've liked me for a long time, huh?"  
  
Seth's voice sounded like he had to force it from his throat. "You know I have. For longer than you could imagine. For almost my entire life."  
  
Summer hugged Seth close. "Who knows, maybe I'll like you for half of my life."  
  
Seth grinned. "Maybe you will. And I hope that it is the last half."  
  
Summer smiled and laid her head against Seth's chest. "Oh, I'm sure that won't be a problem." They stood together for a long moment before either of them spoke. Finally, Summer said, "Can I go for a ride?"  
  
Seth looked up at the sky. "The sun's almost gone though. It's not as romantic as the sunset voyage that I was envisioning."  
  
Summer pulled away from Seth and started untying lines. "Then we'll have to make it romantic in our own way."  
  
Summer stretched luxuriously and snuggled up against Seth. It wasn't surprising that she had gone to sleep with the gentle sound of the waves lapping against the boat, that and the workout that Seth had given her. She would probably be getting drowsy again, if not for that loud droning buzz. A smile broke out on her face as she studied Seth's sleeping form. He too had a silly grin plastered on his lips as he lay there, dead to the world. That was when she noticed something out of the ordinary. She could see Seth's face way too well. In fact, she could see everything on the boat way too well. The moon was full, but it shouldn't provide enough light for her to see so clearly. Finally, Summer realized that the light was coming from over her shoulder. She also realized that the buzzing noise had steadily gotten louder. It was more like a dull roar now.  
  
Curious, Summer turned around. Her eyes widened in shock: a large yacht was bearing down on them. Its running lights were responsible for the light flooding the smaller boat. The yacht was making no effort to turn, so it was apparent that the captain wasn't paying attention. "Seth!" Summer screamed, shaking him vigorously. "Wake up! We need to get off of the boat!"  
  
Seth stirred sleepily, but came to his senses quickly as he noticed the yacht looming over them. It was only a few feet from them, so it had become painfully obvious that there was no way they were going to avoid it. Summer started to scramble to her feet, but the wake kicked up by the rapidly approaching boat threw her off balance. Seth shoved her as hard as he could, pushing her off of the boat and into the water. The last thing that Summer heard was Seth screaming "SUMMER!" as the yacht plowed into the Summer Breeze. 


	3. Not Your Fault

_

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_

Thanks for all the great feedback that you've all left so far. Here's the next chapter. I'm working on the next chapter now, so it shouldn't be too long.

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* * *

_I break it all down so it will show to me clear  
But all the while I'm wishing you were here  
In my dreams I can see, and I feel your face  
But next to me sits an empty space  
Sometimes this life doesn't make any sense to me  
I need some time to heal and some space to breathe_  
-**Breathe** by Seven Channels  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------

Everything came back to Summer in a rush. Seth. The sailboat. The yacht. Memories of the entire incident flashed through her mind, eliciting a sob and a moan. At the sound of Summer's voice, Marissa's head snapped up. She saw that Summer's eyes were open and jumped to her feet, crossing the room in seconds. Her left hand went to Summer's head, tenderly stroking her raven locks. "Hey Sum. You're finally awake. How do you feel?"  
  
The memory of Seth's voice screaming her name was still echoing through Summer's mind. She shut her eyes tightly, causing the tears that had welled up in her eyes to run down her cheeks. "Seth?" Her voice sounded rough and sandpapery. "Where is Seth?"  
  
Marissa swallowed hard and turned to look behind her. Ryan came up and put his arm around her waist. "Do you remember anything at all?" he asked.  
  
With great effort, Summer nodded. Her voice had faded to a whisper. "Yes. I remember it all." From behind Marissa and Ryan, Summer heard Kirsten sob again, her breath coming in tortured gasps. Summer's voice was more urgent as she spoke again. "Where is Seth? Why is Kirsten crying? What is happening?"  
  
Ryan looked down at his shoes. Kirsten had degenerated into voiceless moaning. Ryan looked back at her and discreetly wiped a tear from his eye. He turned back to Summer and sighed. "He-he's in surgery. It's pretty bad."  
  
Summer's eyes widened. "What's wrong?" Kirsten began to sob again. Ryan leaned over and placed a kiss on Marissa's cheek. She gave him a small hug and watched him walk over and put his arm around Kirsten. Marissa turned her attention back to Summer. She took Summer's hand and looked at her sadly.  
  
"We're not really sure," she said. "He's got a lot of broken bones, and there was internal bleeding. A lot of it. They aren't sure, but they said there may be brain damage."  
  
"Brain damage?" Summer spat the words from her mouth. Tears began to flow freely as she stared up at Marissa. "He's going to be okay, isn't he?" she whispered. "Tell me he is going to be okay."  
  
Marissa smiled wanly and shook her head. "We...we're not sure. The doctor hasn't really told Kirsten and Sandy anything since they took Seth into surgery. He's been in there for like 11 hours now."   
  
"Eleven hours?" A sinking feeling began to grip the pit of Summer's stomach. "That's not a good sign." She tried again to move her arms with no result. "Marissa...what is wrong with me? Why won't my arms move? Why is it so hard to turn my head?"  
  
Marissa blinked away a few tears. "You . . . your neck is broken. The doctor said that you must have gotten hit by some stray debris. He's got a neck brace on you right now, and . . . " Marissa trailed off and began to weep.   
  
"And? And what?"  
  
Marissa sniffled and wiped her eyes. She stroked Summer's hair again as she looked down at her. "He said that you might . . . he said that you might be paralyzed for a while." Her hands gathered up Summer's. "It shouldn't be permanent though. It should just last a week or so."  
  
"Paralyzed?" The word sounded alien to her. "I'm paralyzed? No wonder I can't move . . . "  
  
Marissa nodded. "Yes. But, like I said, it won't last forever." She leaned down and touched her forehead to Summer's. "You'll be okay. I know it." She smoothed Summer's hair and kissed her on the forehead. "You know. Seth probably saved your life by pushing you off of the boat. You could have died if the yacht had hit you."  
  
The familiar horrible feeling gripped Summer again. "Did the boat hit Seth? Is that why he's hurt so bad? Is it?" Marissa's eyes filled with tears again, and she turned her head. "It did, didn't it? He pushed me out of the way, and it hit him."  
  
Marissa turned back to Summer and nodded. "Yes," she whispered. "The doctors think that is what happened. It would account for all his injuries." Marissa stepped back and looked at Summer. "It will be okay though. Everything will be okay. You will be okay, and Seth will be okay."  
  
Summer nodded and tried to smile. "I know. Everything will be fine. And Seth will have to be all right, because I'll kick his ass if he doesn't." She could still hear Kirsten sobbing in the corner. "Is Seth's mom okay?"  
  
Marissa glanced over at Kirsten and frowned. "I don't know. She's taking it pretty hard. She's been crying pretty much since she heard." She watched Ryan attempting to comfort Kirsten for a minute. "I feel so bad for her. I can't imagine what she must be going through."  
  
"Me either." Summer slowly turned her head to stare at Kirsten. "I wish I could go hug her, but I can't even move my arms." Sandy noticed her looking over and smiled thinly before turning his attention back to Kirsten. "They blame me, don't they?"  
  
"What?! Of course not. Why would they blame you?"  
  
"Why wouldn't they? I do."  
  
"None of this is your fault. You know that don't you?"  
  
Summer shook her head. "Yes it is. If I hadn't asked to go sailing, we wouldn't have been there. He didn't want to go, but I nagged him."  
  
Marissa shook her head. "No, Sum. You can't blame yourself for this. If you're going to blame someone, blame the captain of the yacht. The one that fell asleep."  
  
Summer was crying fiercely now. "I do blame him, but I blame me too. I woke up before it hit us, but I didn't realize what was happening until too late. If I'd paid closer attention, this wouldn't have happened."  
  
"No, sweetie, don't blame yourself." Summer was startled as Kirsten walked over to the bed. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she still had tears streaming down her face. Her voice broke as she continued. "This isn't your fault. It just happened."  
  
Summer began to sob uncontrollably. "I'm sorry Mrs. Cohen. I'm so sorry."  
  
Kirsten knelt beside the bed and laid her head against Summer's. "It's okay, sweetie. It's okay." She reached across Summer's body and hugged her gently, letting her cry for a moment. "Just focus on getting better, honey. You know that's what Seth would want you to do."  
  
They stayed in that position several minutes before Sandy spoke up. "Summer, we haven't been able to get a hold of your father. Do you know where he is?"  
  
Summer thought for a moment, struggling to bring up a memory of where her father could be. "Um, I think that he took my stepmother to Europe for some reason. I think there's a number for his hotel somewhere at home. . .I can't remember where though."  
  
Sandy nodded. "That's okay. Ryan and Marissa will go over there when you can remember. They can bring back anything that you'll need."  
  
Marissa nodded eagerly. "That's right Sum. We'll even bring your The Valley dvds if you want. Ryan can set your dvd player up here and everything."  
  
Summer smiled. "Okay. That will definitely be better than regular network tv." She sighed and looked over at Kirsten. "Aren't you tired? Shouldn't you go home and get some rest? Or at least get some sleep here?"  
  
Kirsten shook her head sadly. "I don't think I will be able to sleep until I find out about Seth."  
  
"Neither will I," Summer responded. Tears began to well up in her eyes again. "I can't believe this is all happening. I'm so scared."  
  
Kirsten patted Summer's hand and smoothed her hair. "It's okay, sweetie. We'll be here with you. Until your dad gets here, consider Sandy and me your parents."


End file.
